Each week, Dr Kirstin Ferguson tackles questions on workplace, career and leadership in her advice column Got a Minute? This week: socialising outside work hours, heavy boxes that won’t move themselves and young people in crisis.
One of my managers wants to host a team dinner with the staff who report to them, outside of work hours, to foster cohesion within the unit. One of my colleagues isn’t keen to give up their personal time to hang out with people from work. How can we manage this without coming across like we’re not team players?
Bottom line is: relationships matter at work. Informal connections can make day-to-day work smoother, build trust and reduce tension when things hit the fan. Managers often see these dinners as a way to create goodwill and team cohesion, not as a loyalty test – even if it can feel that way.
If you genuinely can’t or don’t want to attend every event, be warm but clear. Thank them for the invitation, explain briefly that evenings aren’t always possible and reinforce your commitment to the team at work. Equally, choosing to attend occasionally – even for a short time – can pay dividends in relationships without requiring total surrender of personal time.
You don’t have to be everyone’s friend, but a little “face time” at these things can go a long way – and knowing when to show up, and when to say no, needs your professional judgment.
I passed a medical exam to start a new office role. However, I am quite overweight and have bad knees. My new boss asks me to carry heavy boxes a long distance and up steep stairs, even in the rain. I do this at least twice a week and am in pain for the rest of the day. I’m sure he finds it entertaining, as he recently asked loudly if I “felt fitter” when I got back. I feel absolutely humiliated and want to resign, but it took me a long time to find this job. There is no HR, and if I call Fair Work, I worry my boss will tell them I passed the medical, then be very nasty.
I’m really sorry this is happening to you – and no, this is not something you should simply have to endure. Your boss is breaking the law, and you are entitled to have something done about it.
In Australia, employers have a duty under work health and safety laws to ensure work is safe and does not cause physical or psychological harm. Requiring you to repeatedly carry heavy loads long distances, upstairs and in poor conditions – especially when it causes pain – raises legitimate safety concerns. Passing a pre-employment medical does not change these obligations.
The comments you describe matter too. Humiliating remarks linked to your body or physical capacity are not “banter”; they can contribute to a psychologically unsafe workplace.
You don’t need an HR department to raise this. You can put your concern in writing to your manager, focusing on the task rather than intent: explain the physical impact, ask whether the task can be modified, shared or reassigned, and suggest alternatives such as trolleys or different delivery arrangements.
If that feels unsafe or goes nowhere, Fair Work can provide general guidance, and your state safety regulator can also advise. Resigning may feel tempting, but don’t rush it. What’s happening isn’t about your fitness, it’s about unreasonable demands – and you’re entitled to push back on those.
I’m in my early 20s and struggling to find work. I cannot understand why our government allows organisations to offshore so many jobs. Why isn’t there a blanket ban on offshoring labour, especially if big companies are making huge profits and can easily afford to have staff employed here? It would give us young people a chance to find work and at least get our foot in the door when we finish school.
You’re not alone in feeling this is unfair – and your frustration speaks to a real shift in how work is changing in Australia. Many organisations have announced they are offshoring sections of their workforce with hundreds of jobs moved to countries like the Philippines.
The bigger structural issues you’re grappling with – difficulty getting a first job, lack of training pathways and employers seeking “experience” they don’t want to provide – are other real barriers for young workers.
We need stronger incentives for employers to hire and train early career workers, wage-subsidy programs, and enforcement of lawful recruitment practices. Your concern is not just economic – it’s about fairness and dignity in a competitive job market, and that’s an important conversation.
To submit a question about work, careers or leadership, visit kirstinferguson.com/ask. You will not be asked to provide your name or any identifying information. Letters may be edited
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Dr Kirstin Ferguson AM is the author of Blindspotting: How to See What Others Miss and Head & Heart: The Art of Modern Leadership. Kirstin is ranked in the world’s Thinkers50 list and holds a PhD in leadership and culture. www.kirstinferguson.com.Connect via X, Facebook or email.
