Baby news will send the calmest of expectant parents into a flurry as they try to find the perfect name for their soon-to-be babe. But a growing number of young-at-heart grandparents are undertaking an equally fervent search.
But in this case, it’s for a unique moniker that suits the kind of grandparent they want to be.
When Theresa Credlin cradled her tiny granddaughter Remy for the first time four years ago, she was hit by an overwhelming sense of love that equalled what she felt when she held her own three children.
“I felt such a deep love – my heart melted so much,” says the 60-year-old. “It’s weird because you’re like, ‘I love her so much like she’s mine, but I can’t have her all the time’. You just yearn for them and you know that you will do anything for them.”
Credlin, from Frankston South, works as a gym instructor and she and her husband Danny, also 60, just didn’t gel with the idea of traditional grandparent names.
“As soon as we found out [our son BJ and his partner Caitlyn were expecting] we started thinking about names straight away. I decided on Nanna TT, which I thought was cute, and Danny is Pa D, which is adorable because when Remy yells out for him it sounds like ‘Party’,” she says.
“I think it’s to do with wanting to feel younger – 60s are the new 40s, and you don’t want to feel like a grandparent. And you want to feel special.”
Similarly, Sydney’s Diane Tipper, 60, couldn’t imagine being another nanna when she found out she had a grandson on the way.
“I wasn’t even 60 and didn’t feel old enough to be called ‘Nanna’, plus the other grandmother is also nearby and known as Nanna, so I wanted a name that wouldn’t get confused,” she says.
Tipper played around with being Nan-Di (short for Diane) but didn’t like the ring of it so came up with the name Nandy, which her grandkids Tyler, now 4, and Isabella, 1, easily adopted.
“None of my friends are going by traditional names – one friend is called ‘Lovey’,” she says.
A new name for a new role
As a child, Tipper’s visits to her own grandparents looked very different to the time she spends with her own grandkids.
“You had to be prim and proper, they didn’t really play with you,” she says. “Whereas I am totally hands-on. I sit on the floor with Tyler and push his trucks around, and we go to the park all the time, and it’s nice to have a personalised name.”
Over the past decade, the chances of hearing “Grandma” or “Grandpa” screamed across the playground have diminished, as today’s grandparents look for labels that highlight the unique closeness with their grandkids, and their zest for life.
“Longevity and health means that today’s grandparents are really active – they’re working, they’re travelling, they’re socially engaged, and I think being called ‘grandma’ can feel to some like it places them in a much older category to how they see themselves,” says Dr Michael Carr-Greg, child and adolescent psychologist and author of the book Grandparents: A Practical Guide to Navigating Grandparenting Today.
“Choosing a different name is a way of signalling that they see themselves as youthful, energetic and actively involved in family life.”
Celebrities may have set the trend, with Susan Sarandon’s grandchildren reportedly calling her Honey and Goldie Hawn’s knowing her as GoGo, and Dr Carr-Gregg says unique grandparent names are fitting given the level of involvement so many grandparents now have with their grandkids.
“Grandparents are living much longer and the size of families are shrinking, so the ratio of grandparents to grandchild has never been so great,” he says.
The role they play has also never been so important.
“We’ve got the highest rates of anxiety and depression and mental health challenges for young people [and grandparents can be] an important stabilising influence, an anchor,” says Carr-Greg. “And the bond between a grandparent and a grandchild isn’t defined by what they’re called – it’s defined by the time, attention and love that is invested in that relationship.”
Setting up a special bond
But it’s not just grandparents who are coming up with their own unique names. Often it’s the baby’s parents who suggest something special – as was the case with Elizabeth Sweet, 60, whose daughter-in-law suggested she go by “Glammy” 10 years ago.
“I thought it was cute and a little bit different from the usual ‘nan’ or ‘grandma’, and the name stuck,” recalls Sweet, who is based in Coffs Harbour.
“I’m a hairdresser and make-up artist, and I’ve been known to dress up and make sure my hair and make-up are always on point, and most people assume I came up with the name myself. With nine grandchildren all calling me Glammy, there’s no changing it now – it’s just who I am to them.”
Tipper says becoming a grandparent is one of the most joyful experiences of her life, and she feels that having a unique moniker helps celebrate this life season.
“You don’t have to do the washing and 101 other things while you raise your kids. When I look after my grandkids, the whole day is with them – everything is put aside for tomorrow,” she says.
“I now say to my friends that the reason why you have children is so you can be a grandparent – it is so much fun. I keep this quote on my phone: ‘Grandchildren make you feel better when you are around them. They are sunshine for your soul and medicine for your mind’ – they just put a smile on your face.”
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Kimberly Gillan is a Melbourne journalist who covers wellbeing, social trends, parenting and travel.
