“I think coming from the Irish culture where harden up, don’t be a girl, don’t be a sissy, it’ll be alright, just plough on, or maybe have a drink, you’ll get through it. That was the Irish sort of culture,” he says.
For Fassnidge, the importance of those connections comes from personal experience.
“I’ve lost a lot of friends … That’s getting back to the whole chefing industry. It’s a very hard industry and it can really drag you down if you don’t have the right people around you.”
The importance of connection became even clearer for Fassnidge during a demanding period of international travel, when long stretches alone began to take their toll.
“The biggest thing is hotel rooms on your own,” he says.
“I was in this dark hotel room by the Mekong River, which is probably beautiful, but … I was starting to go a bit crazy in the jungle, just because you’re left with your own thoughts all day.”
Eventually he sought professional help.
“I went and got therapy. I think every man should get it, especially Irish men, just to unpack your entire life.”
The chef has become a vocal advocate for men’s mental health through When No One’s Watching, a community organisation that brings men together for exercise, conversation and support.
“It’s just a great network,” he says. “There’s guys whose wives have got cancer or something and they’re like, ‘I don’t know how to deal with it.’ Then you’ve got 60 blokes going, ‘Well, do you know what? We’ll help you deal with it, and we’ll ring you tomorrow, and we’ll ring you the next day.’
“The first thing is just sending that DM. That’s the hardest thing. ‘I’m not okay, can you help me?’”
Listen to the full episode for more from Colin Fassnidge on:
- Who he thinks are the best cooks – Kiwis or Aussies?
- The one food he’d happily travel back to New Zealand for
- What life was really like inside Gordon Ramsay’s kitchen
Colin Fassnidge returns to our screens alongside Manu Feildel in a new season of Off the Grid – Sunday, June 7 on TVNZ 1.
Ask Me Anything is an NZ Herald podcast hosted by former Deputy Prime Minister Paula Bennett. New episodes are available every second Sunday.
You can follow the podcast at iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
