Zora Benhamou
People often assume that because I’m a gerontologist – a specialist in the science of ageing – I’m trying to live to 120, yet my ambitions are much simpler. I want to be the 80-something woman still travelling, lifting her own suitcase into the overhead locker, opening jars without help and living independently for as long as possible. That’s what healthy ageing looks like to me.
When my mother died from breast cancer at 57, I was only 23. Until then, I’d always been interested in health, but mostly from the perspective of looking good. After losing her, it suddenly wasn’t about fitting into a bikini, but understanding why we age and what I could do to protect my future.
This eventually led me to study the science of ageing. What I love about it is that it doesn’t just look at biology. We study the whole picture: our psychology, our relationships, our environment and the experiences we’ve had throughout life.
The biggest thing I’ve learnt is that ageing isn’t just about what happens after 60; your future 80-year-old self is being created by the choices you make today. Here’s what really works – and what not to bother with.
You don’t have to lift the heaviest weights
One message I hear all the time is that we have to start lifting heavy weights. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely believe muscle is one of our most important longevity organs. I even call it our “metabolic Spanx” because muscle protects us in so many different ways as we age.
But I think we’ve become obsessed with the idea that heavier is always better. If you’ve never lifted weights before, you have painful joints, osteoarthritis or you’re nervous about injuring yourself, being told to deadlift can be enough to put you off exercising altogether. The goal isn’t just to have muscle that looks good, but to have strength so you can carry your shopping, lift your suitcase, get up the stairs and stay independent.
Older adults I work with rarely tell me they want six-pack abs; they say they don’t want to become a burden on their children. Consistency matters more than chasing the heaviest weight in the gym. My own routine isn’t extreme. Twice a week I do progressive strength training with a personal trainer, who gradually increases the weight until those last few reps feel almost impossible – but never at the expense of good form. I hire a personal trainer because I want somebody watching my form and, as I’ve grown older, I’m keen to ward off injury. But I don’t think everyone has to train that way to build muscle.
Twice a week I also do a high-intensity interval training (HIIT) class with lighter weights, and over the course of the week I make sure I’m ticking off strength, cardio, balance, mobility and flexibility too. Recovery is just as important, so my easier days might be yin yoga, walking or an easy bike ride.
The strength-building technique I swear by
I wish more people knew about blood-flow-restriction training. You wear specialised bands around your upper arms or thighs, which partially restrict blood flow, while you exercise with much lighter weights than usual.
The research is exciting because it shows you can stimulate muscle growth without putting the same stress through your joints. It completely changed the way I exercised when I was diagnosed with hip osteoarthritis in my late 40s, eventually needing both hips replaced at 54. Towards the end everything hurt and I could hardly move, let alone do my favourite workouts.
A little movement, I realised, was still far better than none. Using blood flow restriction bands meant I could keep doing gentle leg lifts and tiny squats within a pain-free range of movement. By the time I went in for surgery, I’d slightly increased my muscle percentage despite hardly being able to train properly.
My father-in-law, who is nearly 90, is a fan. I was never going to persuade him into the gym, but he’ll happily put the bands on while he’s pottering around the house.
There is science behind them too. Muscle strength increased in older adults who wore them while walking slowly. I use them myself most days. I see them not as a replacement for physical exercise in fit people, but as a great add-on to those of us who want to lift lighter but get results without risk of injury. They should be used properly, with guidance, and they’re not suitable for everyone. But for older adults, people recovering from surgery or anyone who struggles with heavy lifting, I think they’re one of the most exciting developments I’ve seen.
Worry more about falls than wrinkles
People think about ageing faces, but I think about falling. Around 90 per cent of osteoporotic (fragility) fractures happen because of falls, and the statistics after a hip fracture are frightening. If you can improve your balance, agility and reaction times, you’re giving yourself a much better chance of avoiding the fall in the first place.
That doesn’t mean everyone needs complicated exercises. Sometimes it’s simply standing on one leg while holding on to the kitchen counter, practising heel-to-toe walking or doing exercises that gently challenge your stability.
You don’t need to give up your favourite foods
People are constantly asking me if they should cut out gluten, dairy or carbs. Unless you’ve got a medical reason, i.e. you’re coeliac, I don’t believe we should be terrified of food. And for most people gluten is never an issue (though people always think it bloats them.) Personally, I follow what most people would recognise as a Mediterranean-style diet, but I lived in Hong Kong for years and still cook lots of Asian food. I don’t think there’s one perfect way to eat.
What matters is variety, eating plenty of whole foods and enjoying your meals. I follow an 80/20 approach. Most of the time I eat well. If I fancy something less nutritious, I eat it. In Portugal and Spain, where I live with my husband, I see all these beautiful summer cocktails and try to tempt myself, but I’ve never really enjoyed alcohol, so I rarely drink. But that’s because I don’t like the taste – not because I think one glass of wine is going to ruin my longevity.
I tape my mouth shut to sleep
This one always makes people laugh. I do use mouth tape most nights, as does my husband as he snores – and yes, I admit sometimes I do, too. When I started using mouth tape at night five years ago, I noticed I slept better, and many of the people I work with reported the same thing. Some found it reduced snoring too.
I trained as a breathwork instructor and became fascinated by how many of us breathe through our mouths instead of our noses. You don’t have to tape your whole mouth closed, some products are just a small strip in the middle. It’s about encouraging your body to breathe through your nose instead. Training yourself during sleep means that during exercise you recover faster and build better endurance. It’s hard at first but becomes easier over time.
Get comfortable doing uncomfortable things
One thing I’ve noticed about people who age exceptionally well is that they don’t stop challenging themselves. They keep learning, moving, doing things that feel a little uncomfortable. Whether that’s trying a new hobby or walking into a room full of strangers.
I am learning Portuguese and practise daily, even if it’s only for 10 or 15 minutes. Portuguese is my seventh language that I can hold a simple conversation in, but I’m still learning. You don’t need to travel or live in a foreign country. There are many free apps and programs out there to learn a language. Learning a language lights up multiple areas of the brain, and I think that’s just as important as training your muscles.
Relationships are your longevity superpower
The single biggest predictor of healthy ageing isn’t protein or supplements, it’s relationships. One of the most influential studies in ageing – the Harvard Study of Adult Development – has followed people for decades and has found that strong, supportive relationships predict healthy ageing better than almost anything else.
I’ve been with my husband for more than 30 years and every year we jokingly ask each other: “Are we signing up for another year?” We laugh, but it’s important. A good relationship reduces stress. A toxic one does exactly the opposite. And if a marriage is making you unhappy, midlife may be the time to get out.
I always tell people to protect their relationships just as much as they protect their muscles.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learnt from studying ageing is that the people around us shape our health more than we realise. I often say you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. If they’re positive, active and curious, you’re much more likely to be the same. If they’re heavy drinkers or constantly negative, that rubs off too. As we get older, we naturally become more selective about who we spend time with. I want to be around people who lift me up, not drain my energy.
And finally…
Will doing all of this make me live longer? None of us knows how long we will live, but for me, it’s about living better. I know that every decision I make today – whether it’s building muscle, sleeping well or nurturing my relationships – is shaping the woman I’ll become decades from now. I’m not trying to become the oldest person in the room, but be a woman in her 80s who is still curious, still travelling and living life to the full.
The Telegraph
Read more on healthy ageing here:
Make the most of your health, relationships, fitness and nutrition with our Live Well newsletter. Get it in your inbox every Monday.
