Each week Dr Kirstin Ferguson tackles questions about workplace, career and leadership in her advice column Got a Minute? This week: a lie keeping someone up at night, a room full of lawyers, and weight-loss worries.
I lied on my CV to get my current job. I wrote a title for a previous position that was more senior than the one I actually had. I’ve since done really well in the position on my own but honestly, every achievement makes me wonder whether it was all built on that one lie and whether one day it will all come crashing down. I don’t know how to fix things from here. What do you suggest?
Thank you for having the courage to ask this question; it is easy to see how much it is eating you up inside. Your success suggests you were capable all along. Ironically, the lie you thought you needed may be the only thing standing between you and enjoying the career you’ve genuinely earned.
It is hard to know from your question the severity of your misrepresentation. For example, if you were a customer service officer and said on your CV you were a senior customer service officer, then while strictly speaking untrue, I wouldn’t think the consequences now would be too severe. Don’t do it again, of course, but nevertheless it is recoverable. On the other hand, if you held the role of pay clerk and said you were the finance manager, that is far more problematic.
My first piece of advice is to decide what kind of person you want to be from here. Do not compound the lie; if you are asked anything about your past job, be honest. Second, if you are considering telling your employer what you have done, I would get legal or employment advice first so you understand exactly what it could mean in your circumstances. That will help you understand the degree of concern you should have.
I am the only person on my organisation’s executive team who isn’t a lawyer, and at times I feel like I am screaming into the void while trying to get my colleagues to listen to or acknowledge my experience or opinions. More times than I care to count, my team and I have been referred to as “fee-eaters” (as a distinction to the “fee-earners”) as we don’t bill for our time. How do I call out what I consider to be poor behaviour without sounding “emotional” and when I am the lone person who feels this way?
Poor behaviour is poor behaviour, wherever you see it and whatever your qualifications might be. Often the people who choose not to see poor behaviour will gaslight those who do – “you are just being emotional” – when all you are doing is naming what others don’t want to admit is there.
Being a lone voice calling out cultural norms that need to change is exhausting. The reality is your culture appears to have some challenges and I have no doubt there is much you notice by being different to the others, which would be of benefit for everyone to understand. You can continue to raise your concerns and fight every battle alone but that is tough. Perhaps see if there is even one other person who understands and who might work with you on this. If nothing changes, it may be time to move on to a place where your perspective is actually being valued. Good luck.
For the past few weeks I have been lavishly praised and complimented at work. Not for any work achievements but because I have lost weight. I can’t take any pleasure in these compliments because I have worked unbelievably hard for the company for more than a decade and have received little praise for the considerable number of things I’ve accomplished for them. Forgive the pun but why does being slim carry so much weight in the workplace?
You’re not imagining it. Research consistently finds appearance influences how we are perceived at work, whether we like it or not. People who lose weight are often described as looking healthier, more energetic or more confident, even when nothing else has changed.
What I also suspect has happened is that over time your employers have come to expect you to be competent. You deliver your projects, solve crises and put in the effort; it is just who you are. Your weight loss, on the other hand, is visible and new. It’s something people can see without knowing anything about your work.
I suspect your colleagues mean well, so the lesson in your question is for leaders reading this. Don’t wait until someone’s appearance changes to recognise them. While quiet effort, persistence and expertise might be more invisible than a waistline, they are actually what really matters.
To submit a question about work, careers or leadership, visit kirstinferguson.com/ask. You will not be asked to provide your name or any identifying information. Letters may be edited.
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Dr Kirstin Ferguson AM is the author of Blindspotting: How to See What Others Miss and Head & Heart: The Art of Modern Leadership. Kirstin is ranked in the world’s Thinkers50 list and holds a PhD in leadership and culture. www.kirstinferguson.com.Connect via X, Facebook or email.
