Elizabeth “Liz” Nickolls remembers the first time she met her friend, Lauren Cassimatis. “She strode through the office in stilettos, apparently so sure of herself, until she was ordered to remove the power shoes because they were damaging the floor,” she recalls.
Nickolls, now 75, adds: “There was very little formal introduction, but we recognised something we had in common – it wasn’t stilettos! – but it was a type of courage, heads held high, no matter what.”
In 2004, Cassimatis, who was 24 back then (a Gen X cusp Millennial), was working as an article clerk when she met Nickolls, a criminal defence lawyer with her own firm and who was a 54-year-old Baby Boomer at the time. Despite a 30-year age gap and being at completely different life stages, their connection was immediate.
“It was like love at first sight,” Cassimatis, now 45, says. “We had a similar energy and chemistry as women. She was compassionate, ambitious, very intelligent and very fashionable.”
Nickolls became Cassimatis’s unofficial mentor, guiding her not just in criminal law but in how to survive and thrive as a woman in a male-dominated field.
With nearly three decades more life and career experience, Nickolls offered a perspective Cassimatis didn’t yet have, warning her about the glass ceiling, the barriers women faced, and the reality of sexual harassment in the profession.
“I scoffed at that, thinking, this is so old-fashioned,” Cassimatis explains. “It’s 2004, and women are rising through the ranks in law. That’s not how men see women in the law.
“But throughout my career, I have certainly encountered exactly what she said.”
The relationship between the two quickly developed into more than a work friendship, with (then) both single women swapping dating stories and finding they shared many of the same values.
“We both love fashion, spirituality, animals and the law,” says Cassimatis. “I looked up to her, and despite the age gap, could and still do relate to her.”
For Nickolls, the age gap simply wasn’t important. “There was hardly a thought about the age difference,” she says. “We would swap stories, good and shocking, about our experiences in our work and social lives.”
Fast-forward 22 years to today, and both women’s lives are (still) vastly different: Cassimatis has opened her own law firm and has children, while Nickolls has retired and moved to a farm near Wangaratta with her husband, John.
Despite this, Cassimatis says it’s “the closest we have ever been”. She adds: “We stay in touch by phone, calling each other to check in on how we are both doing. We also have a bit of a psychic connection; we often know if something has happened to one of us and instinctively pick up the phone to check in.”
Nickolls agrees. “We are still just as close, just geographically separate,” she says. “I was really happy when she and the family came up to stay with us. The kids loved the chickens and her then four-year-old named two of them for me, and he insisted one should be named John.”
Like Nickolls and Cassimatis, many Australians have a “work bestie”, a “work wife” or “work husband”, a colleague who makes a job more enjoyable and connects with you on a deeper level.
It’s also not uncommon for these friendships to occur between individuals from different generations, says Emeritus Professor Anneke Fitzgerald, founder and chair of the Australian Institute for Intergenerational Practice. “They tend to emerge where shared purpose, repeated contact and psychological safety intersect, including in workplaces that have multigenerational teams,” she says.
While intergenerational friendships may be defined by age difference, Fitzgerald says that, as in Cassimatis and Nickolls’ case, it isn’t what’s at the heart of the relationship. “It’s not ‘mentoring’ or ‘helping the elderly/young’; it’s friendship first, age second,” she explains. “It’s a voluntary, ongoing relationship between people from different age groups that is based on mutual respect, reciprocity and emotional connection, benefiting both age groups equally.”
For younger people, these benefits can include access to networks, wisdom and perspective, the expansion and maintenance of social capital, and the building of skills and confidence. “Older adults often provide calm, reassurance, and long-view thinking for younger age groups,” Fitzgerald says.
For older people, a friend from a younger generation can help reduce loneliness and isolation, provide a sense of purpose and relaxation, and be cognitively and emotionally stimulating.
There is also a plethora of shared benefits and unique characteristics that make intergenerational friendships cherished and valued by those who have them, says Fitzgerald. “These friendships can create a sense of belonging across generations, challenge stereotypes such as ageism and youngism, improve community cohesion and strengthen wellbeing and life satisfaction,” she explains.
For Gen X woman Vikki Maver, 52 and Millennial Veronica Rustica, 39, who met in 2022 when Maver slid into Rustica’s LinkedIn DMs and later offered her a copywriting role at her Melbourne copywriting and content agency, celebrating and appreciating each other’s differences has brought immeasurable benefits to their professional and personal lives.
Maver: “Neither of us dismisses the other’s instinct.”
“One of the biggest benefits is perspective, but not in the way people assume,” explains Rustica. “I’m usually the one thinking three, five, 10 years ahead. The world is shifting so quickly – AI, new business models, new ways of working – and I feel a real urgency to make sure we’re adapting. I’ve had five careers already. Change doesn’t scare me; it energises me. I believe that’s a very millennial trait. We’ve lived through so much uncertainty, we’ve learned to adapt and, therefore, aren’t scared of it.
“Vikki is more measured. She’s careful with risk. Where I’ll plant seeds and start experimenting, she’ll want to see/know how it’s going to play out. That means I often have to nurture an idea and bring her along on the journey.”
Maver agrees. “Veronica is at a stage where she wants to accelerate, push and build,” she says. “She’s got energy and enthusiasm for creating something new. I’m nearing the back half of my career, whereas I want financial stability and to be excited about what we’re building, but at a gentler pace. She wants to hustle, and I want to ease into my coffin.”
Outside work, the contrast is equally stark. “Veronica goes to raves on the weekend,” Maver says. “I’m in my slippers three hours before Veronica’s even left the house.”
But for both Maver and Rustica, who have since co-created their own communications training business, their differences make them a stronger team. “What makes it powerful is that neither of us dismisses the other’s instinct,” says Rustica. “My appetite for change keeps us evolving. Her caution protects what we’ve built. It’s not frictionless, but it’s balanced – and the balance makes better decisions.”
Like many intergenerational workplace friendships, the pair say most of their time together is spent at work; however, their many hours working in close proximity mean that they take a deep interest in each other’s lives and regularly confide in one another, especially about parenting.
“Obviously, our kids are at very different ages [Maver’s are 21 and 19, and Rustica’s are 9 and 5],” says Maver. “But even the way we talk about our kids, it feels like we share very similar parenting approaches and family values.”
They have also bonded over a shared love of comedy. “We go to comedy shows together – Mary Coustas, Kitty Flanagan, Wankernomics – and share funny clips with each other at work,” says Maver. “The rest of our team wouldn’t even know who the people in the videos are.”
This shared sense of humour has provided a release from what can be a stressful and demanding business, and both women say it is a highlight and cornerstone of their friendship. “My favourite memories are the unplanned ones: the late-afternoon calls where one of us says, ‘So, I just need to tell you something…’ And we end up laughing so hard neither of us can speak,” says Rustica.
“There’s something deeply bonding about being able to zoom out and find the absurdity in whatever’s happening. Running our businesses can be intense, but we rarely take ourselves too seriously.”
But, like Nickolls and Cassimatis, there is a “psychic connection” – or, as Maver calls it, their “uncanny” shared perspective on things that stand out as incredibly special and unique to their intergenerational friendship. “It will often happen in a meeting,” Maver says. “I’ll be thinking something, and I will receive a message from Veronica on Slack saying the same thing. Sometimes we send each other the exact same sentence, and it’s just like, ‘Okay, that’s weird.’ We are quite aligned, and we just feel like we get each other.”
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