Adding new adventures to our routine roundtables feels like an investment, giving us fresh material to catch up on down the track. Photo: Chang Duong.
The second that grey curly wig connected with my scalp, I transformed.
I was Roberta, the straight-talking, gambling Granny with no shortage of inappropriate stories to tell. Channelling a combination of Fran Drescher’s Yetta and that excessively tanned woman from Something About Mary, I spent the evening laughing my leopard-print-clad arse off with old friends, who had similarly transformed into new identities – the showgirl, the magician, the pimp and other unmentionables.
This was Casino Night. Just one event on a calendar designed to give an old friendship group new life.
It’s little wonder that the act of “catching up” with a friend can sometimes feel like work, not play.
In our busy lives, finding space in the schedule for friendship is a task in itself. A simple dinner date can be months in the making and we must then condense copious life updates into a quickfire roundtable, sharing highlights and lowlights and downloading information faster than the NBN (a debatable analogy, I know).
And while sometimes all you want is a wine and debrief, or to laugh yourselves silly reminiscing about old times, it’s equally important to gather outside this comfort zone and actually do stuff together.
Share new experiences. Make new memories. Give yourself new quotes to dine off for years to come.
“Catch ups” are maintenance. They’re ad-hoc patchwork when something (or someone) springs a leak, or like re-applying a protective layer to a precious antique.
They’re important, sure. But maintenance work, not restoration.
Studies have shown that the quality of close relationships is one of the strongest predictors of happiness, health and longevity. And what are robust friendships built on? Strong foundations of shared experiences, interests and memories.
But there are only so many times you can all laugh hysterically about Becca’s legendary fall into the bushes way back when. Eventually, someone new needs to take a dive.
And bonus: our brains love something new almost as much as our friendship group does.
New experiences not only give us a new poor sod to laugh at (Becca’s done her time), research shows doing something new can boost our brains and improve overall mood.
Some studies even show we’re happier on days we explore new places, rather than sticking to familiar routines.
Okay, I hear you say, can’t we just pick a new dinner venue? Yes, you can. But that, my friend, is called a “pub crawl” and it’s likely not a new activity for your old friendship group. That is likely how Becca ended up in the bush in the first place. We’re trying new things here, people!
Research suggests trying new things can improve memory, enhance flexible thinking and support neuroplasticity.
If this is a new word for you – well, you’re welcome – I just contributed to yours.
Referring to the brain’s ability to adapt and rewire, engaging in activities which promote neuroplasticity – that is diverse, stimulating, new experiences – can help stave off age-related cognitive decline.
Who knew a Casino Night could be good for your health?
Of course, novel experiences also tend to burn bright in our memory, likely as our brains sit up and pay more attention when faced with anything new and potentially scary.
Having clearly read the research, a clever friend of mine (who happens to be a psychologist) instigated an Adventure Club.
A core calendar of quirky events was planned and shared among our friendship group, with new members always welcome. (After all, they boost our neuroplasticity by virtue of their newness!)
Over the year, we have hosted Casino Nights, Murder Mysteries and Dungeons & Dragons quests. We’ve struck out on mountain hikes, taken art classes and attempted a jig at a Scottish cèilidh.
That last one left me with a busted ankle and new-found love of scotch – so, net zero returns for my overall health perhaps?
We once embarked on a Great Race-style scavenger hunt around town, orchestrated by a particularly passionate group member, who stayed one step ahead laying clues, traps and rewards for our discovery.
By taking our catch-ups from the restaurant to a literal mountain top, this rag-tag group of “adventurers” has gained new laughs and quotable quotes to last another 40 years.
And to be totally honest, most adventures finish at a pub anyway, so we still get our “catch up”. We just earn it first, clearing cobwebs with a new activity and something fresh to reminisce about.
Without a little restoration, even the most well-maintained friendships can weaken with time. Don’t let your friendship go to ruins. Build!
But never, ever forget the time Becca fell into that bush.
