“I thought I must have irritable bowel syndrome and food intolerances because of perimenopause. I started self-diagnosing because I thought, ‘what on earth is going wrong with me’?
“I eliminated foods, but then my stomach started blowing up – I looked nine months pregnant. So we went off to ED [emergency department] with this huge big swollen belly and then things literally, from that moment, snowballed into not good news.”
Mitchell recalled the “sickening” moment she and Ben heard the diagnosis: stage 4 ovarian cancer.
“It’s just the saddest reality.”
As they navigate the upheaval that comes with a cancer diagnosis and the coming months of treatment, the pair hope to keep life as normal as possible for their three children Mila, 16, Sofia, 15, and Nico Mitchell, 7.
“It’s hard, because I can feel really sick but then the kids come back, and I have to find some energy to smile and try and be normal,” Kate Mitchell said.
“I don’t want sadness around them,” Ben Mitchell, who played Dr T.K. Samuels on Shortland Street for nearly 20 years, added. “I want optimism and positivity. Our kids are everything to us.”
Now, Kate Mitchell is undergoing various tests to determine next steps, which will likely involve surgery and chemotherapy. The couple may also look overseas for more options, if initial treatments available in New Zealand don’t work.
“[The treatments] we’ve looked into are all very costly, because a lot of them are overseas and with the exchange rate, it’s a bit daunting,” she said.
“But we just really want to have the option there that if first-line treatment here doesn’t go well, that we can look further afield. So we’re just keeping that in mind and slowly working towards that as a just-in-case scenario.”
Ben Mitchell said he was determined to push for access to the right treatment, in hopes it could eventually help others too.
“We’ve felt the tragedy, the destruction, the trauma it’s put on my wife, and we want to help other people as much as we can, for awareness,” the 47-year-old said.
“Often we don’t advocate for ourselves, so it’s easier if someone else does.”
A Givealittle page set up for Kate and Ben Mitchell and their family has raised more than $24,000 so far. To Ben Mitchell, it’s “no surprise” to see the generosity and kind messages that have poured in.
“My wife is the most beautiful woman you’ll ever meet,” he said.
“Her heart and her spirit is just a force for good, pure good. She’s the first one to go and contribute to things, she’s baking things for people, and you never think it’s going to come back around.”
The donations and support from friends and strangers alike has helped them feel less alone.
“It just gives hope – because I think at the end of the day with this kind of disease, you just cling to hope,” Kate Mitchell said.
“This could mean that I could win, you know? It could mean the difference between winning or losing. It could be the difference between seeing the kids do all their things as they grow up.”
“I’ll eventually get around to every single person, thank them, hug them. We’re so grateful for their love and their support,” Ben Mitchell added.
Every contribution counts, he says – whether financial, practical or simply moral support.
“People are doing it hard economically, and they go, ‘I don’t know what to contribute’, or they might see someone put a significant amount and they just feel like theirs is not worth [much]. But just pray for my wife, that’s enough – your love is enough, your support is enough.”
Kate Mitchell, who has worked as a teacher for many years, said she wants to be able to give back to others through her experience.
“When and if I beat this, I want to be someone who’s just out there helping people in my same position,” she said.
“Because that’s a meaningful life, impacting people in that way and giving them hope and love and certainty, not just going off to my daily grind each day.
“I would love this to end up being a beautiful story with a beautiful ending that somehow I can manage to be with my family and my husband, but also do something meaningful with my life.”
For now, the couple say that faith and hope are getting them through each day.
“Our faith in Jesus is very important to our family. It was always strong, but now it’s become a pillar in our house,” Ben Mitchell said.
“Family is everything. There’s a lot of mothers and fathers and parents striving out there and just going day to day, but family, each other is everything. My wife is my life, she’s everything to me.”
“I just hang on to the hope that I’ll just get the words, ‘you’ve got to come in and start treatment’,” Kate Mitchell said.
“We can’t thank everyone enough, just for being human … it’s like, wow, why don’t we always live life like this, where we’re just so real and all the garbage is stripped back. And so for that, I’m just incredibly grateful.”
