“Battling kids on this subject is not always easy, but it’s so crucial we do because screen time is displacing the real-world social, physical and cognitive experiences that are fundamental for our children to develop – and that are necessary for all our long-term mental health and wellbeing.”

The stats make sobering reading. A 2022 meta-analysis of 18 studies involving 9269 young people found problematic social media use was associated with higher levels of depression, anxiety and stress. And it’s far from the only study to make this link.

But social media isn’t the whole story. Many of us know of someone, child or adult, who seems borderline addicted to their Xbox or PlayStation. In the space of one generation, we’ve gone from desktop computers being an exciting new productivity tool to portable technology that follows us everywhere, dominating our work and leisure time.

Louise* from Wellington feels technology plays a largely negative role in her family’s life.

“It feels like it has such a crazy grip on us all, and we waste so much time with our faces in our phones. Some of it is work-related for sure, but so much is pointless games or doomscrolling. And you very rarely come out of it feeling better, do you?”

Louise admits she often feels guilty after absent-mindedly playing Candy Crush when she could have been spending time with her kids. After scrolling social media, she’s often left feeling like her life falls short of other women, who seem “skinnier and richer and probably healthier than me”.

The overpowering tug of a device is no accident – technology companies invest stupendous amounts of money and resources to create tempting products – but for many, ditching all screens isn’t an option.

So rather than considering how to eliminate technology, perhaps we should be asking a different question: which screens, apps, and habits deserve a brutal cut, and which are less harmful in the grand scheme of things?

Social media

If you’re looking for somewhere to start, social media seems to be the biggest offender. That’s not just because of the content, which can fuel comparison culture and chip away at self-esteem but because of the effects on our brain.

“Passive algorithmically-fed video content appears particularly detrimental. That includes short-form videos like TikTok, YouTube Shorts, Instagram Reels and autoplay videos. There’s a substantial body of research that supports this link to poorer attention and executive function. For example, there was a recent systematic review of 71 studies and nearly 100,000 participants of all ages which found that increased short-form video use was associated with poorer cognition overall, with the strongest effects on attention and inhibitory control, both very important to executive function.”

It’s little surprise that speeding through clips as little as three seconds long affects how our brains function on other tasks. Especially if you’re younger, according to Samantha Marsh (PhD, MPH, BCom/BSc), a senior research fellow in the Department of General Practice and Primary Care – also at Auckland University.

“Young people are particularly vulnerable to those little little little hits of dopamine that they might get, and that reward loop social media gives [likes, shares and follows],” she says.

Some research Marsh was involved in, funded by Smartphone Free Childhood, at the end of 2025 found that 22% of New Zealand teens meet the criteria for problematic social media use. When they focused on gender, it was 25% of girls.

“So a quarter of New Zealand girls or teen girls meet this criteria, which is a pattern of use that mimics addiction, and is linked quite strongly with very negative outcomes like depression and anxiety and suicidal ideation.”

Marsh found one of the most interesting findings came from asking teens whether they wished social media hadn’t been invented; 39% said yes.

For an upcoming generation of Kiwis, this hypothetical could become reality. On August 24, the Government proposed the Online Safety Bill, which would ban under-16s from social media, including TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook.

Gaming

Against social media, old-fashioned gaming could seem relatively benign, but that’s not necessarily the case. Online video games, in particular, can mimic the prompts and patterns often found in gambling. For example ‘Loot Boxes’ often prompt users to spend real-world money for the chance to win desirable digital items but without any guarantee they will get them. Risks also come with interacting with other anonymous users online.

Gaming offline helps minimise some harm. Marsh says, “If you’ve got a kid who is gaming offline for an hour or two in the weekend, and you turn it off, and they don’t have a meltdown, and every conversation you have with them or all their work at school isn’t being inspired by the game, it might not be so bad, but you need to be aware of what they’re playing. The research on gaming isn’t as clear as social media; there’s still more to understand.”

Television

And then there’s TV. Many will remember our parents worrying these new “goggle-boxes” would be the ruin of us all – if only they’d known what was to come.

Marsh says, “TV is interesting because at least in adults, it’s been shown that up to two hours a day can actually maybe even have some beneficial effects. So if you or your 15-year-old comes home and watches a couple of episodes of some comedy or something, we are not too worried about that.”

Things are different, however, for young children. Both Marsh and Reid emphatically point to World Health Organisation and New Zealand Ministry of Health guidelines recommending no screen time for children under 2, a maximum of one hour a day for 2- to 5-year-olds, and no more than two hours for children over 5.

Reid, whose research has focused on executive function (your ability to plan, focus attention, manage impulses and sleep), says these limits are crucial developmentally because children’s brains develop through real-world activities like conversations with caregivers, playing with other children, physical activity and sleep.

“Executive function is fundamental for many important life outcomes, and it’s been negatively linked to everything from poorer health, mental health, and wealth, worse career prospects and academic outcomes and reduced social success. There is a clear pattern where higher screen time in children, including TV, consistently predicts greater difficulties in attention, impulse control and other key executive function abilities over time, along with long-term physical changes to their brains.”

A temporary circuit breaker

Another way to deal with your own or a family member’s excessive screen time is a limited-time “factory reset” of sorts. Kristina* from Auckland did this when her child was 10 years old.

Exhausted from policing rules around devices and social media and shocked at the daily aggressive, highly emotional, sometimes destructive behaviour when her son was forced to get off, she took everything away.

“Children shouldn’t act like that. It was actually scary to see my beautiful boy like that. So I went full send and took it all away. Everything. Cold turkey. No phone, no iPad, no games, no access to my laptop, and no TV. I said, ‘I’m sorry, but this is my one job, this parenting thing, and I want to look back and know I did the best I could, for both of us’.”

The first two weeks were awful with tantrums, tears, begging, anger and threats, but Kristina stood her ground.

“After thoroughly testing my resolve and realising it was to no avail, he finally gave up and did so many cool things. It was a total joy to watch.”

Her son rediscovered the joy of climbing trees, building huts, exploring garden insects, making things from wood and going to the library. After three months, they gradually reintroduced technology, starting with two hours of internet access from 4pm until dinner, initially limited to YouTube research.

“It was a long-term game changer, and I would do it again in a heartbeat if I had to.”

As Kristina and her son demonstrate, perhaps one doesn’t need to ditch all screens forever, or resign oneself to spending more time than preferred playing games or scrolling Facebook. Perhaps the third, more realistic, place to start is to prioritise. To be strict where it counts most and still enjoy that evening episode of television.