I used to have FOMO but these days you’re more likely to find me in a calm state of ROMO. For the uninitiated, that’s shorthand for Fear of Missing Out and Relief of Missing Out.
I’m increasingly relieved when I miss out on things. Especially things that require queuing (particularly for coffee, baked items, poke bowls and such), long waits to buy tickets online, expensive meals and cocktails, crowded places and hours on my feet in dark venues late at night when I’d prefer to be in my jammies sipping a tea, crochet in hand.
Oscar-winning actor Cillian Murphy has said he too has feelings of ROMO these days. Credit: Marco Grob
Take the recent Oasis concert. I could not think of anything I would have less liked to do. Traipsing over to Marvel Stadium, forking out at least $180 a ticket when I could listen to them in the comfort of my home at my desired volume. I don’t mind their music and I know some friends loved it. But you’re more likely to see me at a theatre production with specific start, break and finish times and comfy seats and reasonable views of the stage.
According to 2021 research, the term FOMO emerged in 2004 from observations on social networking sites. It made it into the Oxford Dictionary in 2013. I do still get FOMO. Not long ago, I missed out on tickets to Paul Kelly’s Melbourne tour so bought them for Sydney, and packaged the weekend trip up as my husband’s birthday present.
But I think it’s time to recognise that ROMO and JOMO – the Joy of Missing Out – are the more pervasive emotions.
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The other Saturday when I was away for the weekend, a friend texted and asked if I wanted to go to Chadstone shopping centre. She’d pick me up. Big time ROMO. Phew. I used to be a regular at Chaddy before it became Australia’s biggest shopping centre, when you could park within metres of Myer and duck in on a Sunday morning. The most recent times have been stressful. Picking kids up and circling the car park, thinking I’m never getting this time back. That was roughly eight years ago.
When a birthday invitation arrived a while back, I lamented about what a busy weekend I had. You stay home for weeks on end and then fun things land on the same night. My youngest chastised me, reminding me it’s a privilege to be invited. It’s a bit bizarre to have your kids lecturing you on what you have been telling them for years.
With Christmas celebrations upon us, many of us will have been cycling through FOMO and ROMO. Irish actor Cillian Murphy was recently on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, where he noted that he had entered the phase where he was often experiencing ROMO over missing out on big roles, including in Christopher Nolan’s upcoming The Odyssey film.
