“The rest was pretty much a blur” – and “chaotic” – but exactly how she thinks it was meant to be.
The couple had close friends on the walk with them, who hung back and took candid pictures of the proposal, which Tomasel says they now treasure looking back at – activewear and all.
Tomasel knew Gould was the one pretty quickly after meeting her in 2018, feeling instantly comfortable and sure of their bond.
“Loyalty is such a huge thing for me, and I’d always struggled to find that in a partner. But that’s something that is unwavering, with Sophia – she’s the most loyal, ride or die person, and that’s what I’ve always searched for.”
She also credits Gould for helping her wrap her head around the idea of marriage and admitting that it might be something she wanted as a queer person.
“I was never going to be the person to get married. Especially being queer and living in Australia. I never allowed myself to believe I was worthy of getting married. Or that was able to get married because until 2017, in Australia, where I lived most of my adult life, we couldn’t,” Tomasel says.
She admits telling herself over the years that marriage wasn’t for her was probably a form of self-preservation and protection.
“Sophia has been a big part in healing those parts of me so I was able to wrap my head around, ‘I can do this, and I am worthy of the same things everyone else is entitled to’. It’s been a long process.”
Tomasel says telling her parents was yet another experience she thought might not be on the cards for her. So breaking the news to “Big Steve” and “Mama Di” was more special than she could have ever imagined.
“My mum and dad were definitely not expecting it, and I think my mum just put her hands over her face. Then my dad, in typical dad fashion, made some dad jokes, and then I saw him wipe a little tear away.”
Watching her older sister and younger brother both get married and share those special moments with their parents had made Tomasel question if she ever would have the same experience.
“I never thought I would have those moments with my family, and me being the one. I’m getting emotional thinking about that. But yeah, having that for me was pretty bloody special.”
The host popped the question with a ring from friend and New Zealand jewellery designer Nick Von K, which was a year in the making.
“I love his stuff, it’s so special and unique, and so I messaged him and said, ‘Hey, really on the down low, could you maybe help me with this?‘”
Tomasel says she instantly knew she wanted to pair her partner’s love of traditional jewellery, represented by a diamond, with something unique, choosing pounamu to sit beside it.
“I just knew when I saw it that it was what I wanted.”
Tomasel and Gould are still basking in their engagement, but have started talking about the venue and a few key things they align on.
They’ve already decided to buck tradition, with no bridal party and instead making the day one big celebration of friends and family.
“It’s kind of modern-day, it’ll just be us up there, and we don’t want to put that stress on anyone. And let’s be real, no one wants to be a bridesmaid anymore.”
