Debbie Harrison
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Three years since the arrival of her beautiful boy, Whanganui mum Kayla Dowdle still struggles to eat. Photo / Bernadette Peters
For many women, carrying a baby can be tough. But for Kayla Dowdle, nine months of severe sickness was just the beginning of a battle that would continue for years after her son Luca was born.
Like the Princess of Wales, Kayla, 30, suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) –
a debilitating form of nausea and vomiting that left her unable to keep food or fluids down for her entire pregnancy.
Sadly, the relentless vomiting completely changed her relationship with food and has led to disordered eating that sees her struggle to maintain a healthy weight.
The sickness began at about six weeks, but instead of easing, it became progressively worse until, at about 16 weeks, Kayla was diagnosed with HG.
“On bad days, I’d vomit up to 20 times a day. From the minute I woke up until I went to bed, I’d feel sick.”
The situation was so debilitating, Kayla had to give up her job at a rest home kitchen. Instead, she spent much of her pregnancy in bed, making regular trips to hospital for fluids and being admitted several times when she became particularly dehydrated.
She recalls, “One morning, my nana turned up, worried. When she saw me, she dragged me out of bed to get me to hospital. I hadn’t eaten in days, I couldn’t keep water down and I had no energy.”
Kayla says every attempt to eat or drink came with the fear it would come straight back up.
“I was tired and emotional all the time because it was constant. I cried a lot because I was well and truly over it.”
Her son Luca Russell Robert arrived naturally three days early on November 30, but poor Kayla continued to vomit even during labour. The moment he was born, the nausea lifted.
“I got to the hospital at 3am and he was here at 6.02am,” she tells. “I pushed for about half an hour and he was out, then it was gone.”
But while she had finally escaped the HG, Luca’s arrival brought another terrifying chapter. During the very quick birth, Kayla suffered a severe tear that required surgery. Doctors discovered Luca’s umbilical cord had been wrapped around his neck twice and he’d suffered a serious lack of oxygen.
Luca was flown to Wellington Hospital, where he spent more than a week in neonatal care, including three days on a cooling mat while his brain was closely monitored.
“I was wheeled in after surgery and only had a couple of minutes to hold him,” she shares. “It was heartbreaking. They flew me down two days later and I stayed there while he was in neonatal. The whole experience is very blurry.”
Once they were finally home together, Kayla assumed the worst was behind her, but she faced a new challenge.
“I have no appetite – I put it down to the fact that I hadn’t eaten for nine months and my body wasn’t used to eating. I don’t look at food like I did before I was pregnant. I still have massive PTSD. I freak out if I think I’m going to be sick.”
Weighing 119kg when she got pregnant with Luca, the HG resulted in her losing 23kg and her weight continued to fall, eventually hitting a low of 54kg.
While she sought help from dietitians and mental-health professionals, she was heartbroken by cruel comments from others suggesting she had deliberately made herself thin.
“I’ve gone from being fat- shamed to skinny-shamed,” she laments. “I didn’t decide to do it on purpose. I don’t want to be this skinny.”
Kayla snacks regularly, even when she doesn’t particularly feel like eating, and says she’s making good progress and is focused on maintaining her weight.
Luca, now 3, is the light of her life.
“He’s full-on! But he’s got the sweetest little nature and is a real mama’s boy.”
He will, however, be Kayla’s only child. She made the decision to have her fallopian tubes removed when she was 29. While doctors were reluctant due to her age, she was adamant she didn’t want to risk another pregnancy.
Back working casual shifts in the rest home kitchen, Kayla has also completed a beauty therapy qualification and is hoping that by sharing her story, she’ll help other women.
She explains, “I’ve had a lot of controversy about my weight loss and it’s really upsetting how nasty people can be. I want to advocate for people who are struggling and think they can’t get through it. Sometimes you just need to know you’re not the only one.”
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