It can elicit a rush – a cheap thrill among friends, family or co-workers. It’s a friend pausing in conversation and asking, “Can I just say something, cone of silence?”
The implication is clear: a good gossip session is imminent.
Our current cultural moment is, in many ways, defined by our obsession with gossip. It feeds an entire tabloid industry and created the celebrity industrial complex, where news is made by Instagram accounts that traffic almost exclusively in hearsay and popular podcasts such as Normal Gossip take banal, specific pieces of gossip from their listeners and dissect it for a global audience.
“Our fascination with gossip comes from it being a central part of human social life,” explains Dr Marlee Bower. “Humans are an innately social species, and much of our survival historically depended on understanding relationships, alliances, trustworthiness and group dynamics.”
Gossip plays a crucial social function in that it establishes moral codes and boundaries, says Professor Jolanda Jetten, head of the school of Psychology at University of Queensland.
“How do we know what’s right and wrong, what is normative in society, what’s the moral thing to do? Often by talking to others and trying to understand where the boundaries are,” she says. “That is when we often gossip – it’s to find out, very practically, what is it that I’m required to do? What is it that we think about certain types of behaviour?”
“It really helps you to navigate the social world.”
In 2017, Jetten and Dr Kim Peters led a study published in Psychological Science examining gossip and deviant behaviours. They paired random individuals and showed some of them a video of a person littering. Those who were shown the video were more likely to start gossiping about it with their partner, reinforcing their understanding of social norms and indirectly encouraging social bonds.
“Gossip is a great way to entertain one another [helping us to form relationships], to learn about what people are up to [good or bad] and to understand how groups evaluate the actions of others [and thus, what we should do and what we should not],” says Peters, a professor in management at University of Exeter Business School.
Is there such a thing as ‘good’ and ‘bad’ gossip?
Typically, when we discuss gossip, it’s negatively and often referring to the conversations dominated by speculation about another person’s personal life.
But not all gossip is negative, and not all gossip can be neatly categorised as “good” or “bad”. It’s heavily dependent on context.
“Research increasingly shows that gossip is not one singular behaviour, as its impacts depend heavily on its tone, intent and social context,” says Bower.
When studying gossip, researchers place it into three broad categories: positive, neutral and negative.
“Positive gossip might look like praising someone’s generosity, competence or achievements, and can strengthen trust, belonging and social cohesion within groups,” explains Bower. “Negative gossip, conversely, might look like critical talk about another person that can damage reputations and undermine trust.”
Our audience will determine what we share and the risks associated, says Peters. “When gossiping with acquaintances or strangers, it’s a good idea to keep things relatively light, maximising what is entertaining and positive.
“When gossiping with close friends, there is greater leeway to share negative ‘bitchy’ gossip, without worrying that they will think less of us. The rest of the time, we should share information that the audience is likely to think is relevant, like work-related behaviours with colleagues.”
Are there benefits of gossiping?
Research into the exact health benefits of gossip are still in the early stages, though one 2023 study found that gossiping can lower cortisol (the stress hormone) for people who have a high tendency to gossip.
Another study from 2017, though small in sample size, found that it spiked oxytocin, suggesting gossip heightens feelings of closeness.
Beyond that, there are plenty of beneficial social, emotional and mental gains to be made gossiping, especially when what you’re sharing is neutral or positive.
Positive or affiliative gossip can promote social bonding, emotional connection and feelings of inclusion and belonging, which are all important for mental wellbeing, says Bower.
When we gossip, we forge formative relationships. “Gossip can be a rapid way to create intimacy and connection,” she explains. “Sharing social information can build trust, mutual understanding and a sense of closeness between people when it is done constructively.”
It’s not necessarily all about the content, it’s the fact you feel comfortable sharing it in the first place. “When I decide to gossip with you, I send out certain signals to you that I trust you with information that I don’t necessarily want to say publicly,” says Jetten. “It tells me something about my intention for you or where you stand, that I trust you, that I want to be close to you, that I value what you think about this particular thing that someone else has done.
“I signal that I want to be closer and that can be very pleasant, right?”
Peters says gossip “that builds bonds, that helps us to understand what the people in our lives are up to and helps to keep groups functional, like gossip that reinforces positive norms and detects and controls cheats, will all help improve our health”.
When should we not gossip?
If you have to ask yourself whether you should be broadcasting certain information, definitely take pause before you go running your mouth. “It becomes negative when it is overtly and repeatedly mean-spirited and it harms someone’s reputation unnecessarily,” Jetten says of the boundaries to gossiping.
Peters has a simple and concise mantra to follow when it comes to knowing you’re gossiping is within bounds and good for you: “Keep in mind what the audience is interested in; avoid overly negative gossip outside of your closest relationships; tell entertaining stories.
“Share gossip, but wisely.”
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